Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Our dreaded Uni Lives

Caption: Me really Hungry for Chicken at Uni

By FIDELIS SUKINA

It was a dull day at the University and we all knew we had it coming, another day of tinned fish and rice.

As we walked pass the student mess, we could see the dreaded Shipping container that had all the tinned catch of the day.

“Seriously dude tinned fish again someone please end my misery” I shouted, and we all laughed handing out Hi five’s and walking past the mess.

The low cost dinning, was nothing like we imagined it would be at Uni, students started losing their nice chubby figures from home.

“Guys look at Nelson he looks like he went for liposuction surgery” we laughed out loud 

Some of us even had to tie plastic around our trousers to keep them from hitting our ankles,

“Dude buy a belt you look like a marginalized street rat” we could not stop making fun of ourselves

“Look Nancy lost her fun bags looks like they are dropping” we laughed till we had a stitch.  

It was like a success story for some obesity camp, where even the fat had lost weight, through no 
exercise but just eating three square meals a day.

 “This life is joke I’m so skinny I look like Cat Williams” Ian Paul said as we sat around the dorm area smoking and chewing betel nut

It was like facing the inevitable every time you stepped in line with the rest of the country’s so called elites, you knew constipation and hunger would go hand in hand for the next two days or so.

But apart from the rancid smell of the grease trap and the occasional container rat, we survived.
We had fun and Rugby Union was the bomb, the brotherhood and comradely, was too good.

“Oi guys time for training, let’s go” and just like that every idiot in the room playing Rugby on my laptop would run out with rugby boots in hand and we’d walk across to the field for a game of touch footy.

That was the routine; mornings we had classes, in the afternoons we had training, and after that we met up with the gang and had the worst dinner of our lives.

On Saturday we played our hearts out and on a Sunday we would just laze around the room chilling, looking for ways to get some snacks.

“That’s it I’m calling my mum to send me money” Smith Young said “Yes yah woo hoo that’s it lets go” everyone in the room shouted.

So it was me, Ian Paul and Smith young who walked over to the ATM machine to get some money which his mum had sent earlier on.

As soon as we had the money a hoard of friend s came around like flies buzzing around a dead beached whale.

“Guys Guys! Not much just a coke and some biscuits” Smith said eyeing me, giving me the signal for the oncoming hoard.

“Shit dude lets ditch this place” I said “But where’s Ian Paul?”
The dude was once again killing time chatting to this senior, so I had to do something

“Dude you got a better chance with a dead moose than her” I told him and we all burst out laughing, walking down to the dorm.

 As soon as we opened the room door it was like a concentration camp skinny shirt less dudes, playing computer games puffing on roll cigarettes, using the coffee cup for an ash tray.

It was like manna from heaven, a cold sip of a coke and a taste of biscuit kept us going till we met our faith at the dinner table.

“Dude lets go for dinner I’m starving” Ian shouted, and just like a band of depleted miners we slackly, made our way to the mass

Along the way we would shake hands with everyone that passed us and even the occasional short skits poking fun at each other.

“Guys its Chicken!” I could smell it, “Seriously man” the guys replied,
After I peeped into the mess hall, I could see the hunger stricken faces munching on a drum stick,

I could taste the moist succulent chicken, but like any day chicken was on the menu the line stretched so far you would be lucky to eat if you came early.

“ Guys please someone pray, Ian pray for a miracle so we can eat come chicken I’m dying” I said jokingly, but the boys didn't respond it was now ten minutes into the long wait and at the second glance it was tin fish again chicken had run out.


You could see the faces, and hear the grumbling and murmuring; just like that we were so close yet so far away.

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